......
Here's a few stories/poems/what ever I have written. This is mostly
about the daily life from the sparsely populated regions of Norway.
From my pityful childhood, my brutal youth and my shizofrenic middleage.
I will try to update it once in awhile, so please come back!!
Updated december 9th 2001
right before my sixth birtday
My father said it was necessary
as I was stark staring mad
Before that I usualy had a meaning
Now, I ain't got no meanings
but I remember well when the drill
break through the brainbark
hold his nose and said it stinked
and that he could see demons
After this my father said
so this is how you spend your days
Isn't it about time you shot your mouths
and find yourself a decent job?!
It's not written in any sections
that people like you are free from all
For Gods sake, there must be something
the Social security office could set you on?!
"You sit here, without any kind of worries
and gladly grab whatever you can get!?
Got a detached house and an expencive car
Well, praise the Lord there ain't too many of you!
Is it any wonder the world goes down
when lazy bastards like you fools around
living in a whirl of pleasure
which we taxpayers must pay for?
If it was me who was in charge
I wouldn't give you a penny!"
"Got any problems, boys?"
The three girls showed up from nowhere
so I found out it was time to back of.
Had my head in the air when I turnes around and walked
When I had crossed the street
I saw the girls roll them away down the sidewalk
was indeed good to get rid of some frustration
Need a little distance from the job, when I got a day of
After thirty years by a stamping machine
you soon get a little angry in your head.
After a couple of unpleasent experiences
I found out that people in wheelchair
was a much better victim, because they had not
so I'm pretty sure they won't hurt me
like fine weather use to be
that day, which for all times
will fill my nights with nightmares
The fields were dewy and filthy
with little green spots here and there
while the birds, or was it the angels?
sang, high up there somewhere
and I had that peaceful feeling
Lying flat along the saddle of my new Apache-bicycle
with highest gear connected
and a speedometer that was close to twenty miles per hour
That's when the terror began
I leapt so high that I nearly ended in the ditch
for right in front of us they stood
looking at us with scornful eyes,
while their jaws worked hard with the chewing-gum
Had never seen them before, but I had heard the rumour
so my heart started beatin' when I realized who it was
was out, looking for trouble, again
Could feel the sweat running from my armpits
Brutus, the worse and probably the oldest
had worked out a huge bubble that suddenly cracked
"Mom!" I cried inside me, "Mom!"
Suddenly I wish I was home
safe inside the cover of four walls
in shelter for all evil and other possible horror
Dennis, my comrad, was just about to cry
as usual, when he didn't felt comfortable
and I must admit that I wasn't particular high and mighty
Tried to swallow the clump I had in my throat
turned against Dennis and whispered
He noded energetic, wiped away some tears
before he took the plunge and tread like a maniac
They was soon after us, howlin like a pack of wolves
"Pagans from the land of jews!"
These terrible insults burned like salt in an open wound
"Pagans from the land of jews!"
Those turns of abuse poured down as we tread for our lives
breathless, with wild eyes and a tongue that tasted like blood
At that time I was in front of Dennis
"Come on!" I cried, "they're falling behind!"
and truly enough, as we reached the curve
and had the parish in sight
I saw they had stopped on a picnic area, still shouting
but too far away from us to hear
We made it! The delight was overwhelming when we finally
"Ya-hoo!" I shouted, and showed them the finger up
while they disappeared over the hilltop
By then I felt brash, heroick
"Well, it's first of all my rescourcefullness that made us get away,
at all!" I said, trying to comfort Dennis
"Oh yeah", he agreed, and wiped away the last tear
After that I behaved like a chivalrous protector
so for the last two hundred meters
But, even today, many years later
I have'nt forgotten those insults, which is stored in my brain
for never quiet to disappear.
who looked himself in that evening
and all those gloomy, gloomy thoughts.
When my clenched fist hit him
I understood that it would end up in trouble
but I did'nt realize it would turn out
as I woke up from the unconciousness
the rest of my beautiful hair
was scattered in the wind
all my fingernails was ripped out
My feats was about to fail me
and the rucksack was heavy
I headed for the nearest bar
and gave her plenty of tips
A table in the corner was empty
It felt like heaven when I at last
Woke up on my way out the door
before the asphalt hit me
as I tried to brush the dust of my clothes
Here had a prosperious man
from the worst pub in town
and that even in broad daylight?!
Them idiots didn't knew it was a capitalist
that they could have earned a lot of money
I became a little bit more particular
before I once again took the step
The Day I Learned How To Kill
is still standing crystal clear
and in some kind of religious silence
I recived what was going to follow me
I put the bullets in the chamber
I saw endless, bloodstained battlefields
saw the terrible destructions
All other experiences in life
The smell of the gunsmoke
when the enemy was eliminated
Behind me the "enemy" blew of
and disappeared up the valley
I was shivering with cold
Had a taste of something sweet
it was the taste of blood.
each of them with theier own
The sixpence, the bubblegum
when I headed towards them
"So, daughters of bitches"
"Doing errands for your Mommys!?"
otherwise there's trouble on it's way!"
Caviar, wheat flour, toilettpaper......
«Where is the candy?!» I shouted
«and don't tell me you ain't got any candy!"
was about to burst into tears
«mom said it could be dangerous
«and why should it be dangerous?»
They looked at each other
Could almost see the blank terror
Everyone was afraid of me
This certainty gave me fresh strenght
when I don't get my will!»
Placed the caviaretube under the heal
and squashed it into the snow"
«You bastard » cried Mary
«Oh yeah, dare to try!!» I treathen
and showed them the white
Felt almost safe they would'nt tell anything
«and remember this» I finished
«next time you've better have candy
The bubblegum suddenly felt big
Was it about time to give it up now?
it was just two years till I was thirty!
but deep inside I knew that
I stepped into the kitchen
"There's a fire in the refridgerator!"
woke me from the unconsiousness
The growing red color in my face
must have been pretty visible
on the other side of the table
before he draw himself up
This job interview is definitive over
as the convulsive sobbing
There were just three cookies left
before I made myself comfortable
As he knocked on the balcony-door
"Oh, I'm sorry, are you ill?"
"Yes, I guess it's the flu
she's pretty hard this time
«I was just wondering if you could loan me
Wasn't that exactly what he wanted
that the coffee-cup almost
"I'm pretty tired of this importunity!
and I always pay you back?!"
A strong red color replaced
He turned around and left
As he disappeared around the corner
while the wind keeps growing
and the lightning runs the sky
he attacks the windshield
there's something dreadful
the wind seems to blow in all
The heavy skies that looms
This sinister atmosphere crawls
breating in the back of my neck
but enough to make me get up
that leeds into this terror
The shaking is still there
and I'm reeling helplessly around
with a tongue that wouldn't follow
that nobody really liked me
This horrible discovery hit me like
I was a loner amongst wolfs,
I felt the boulder on my shoulders
something reckless came over me
you daughters and sons of bitches!
very impressed over my own
The cold September evening
The pleasure inside felt like
What a piece of buttheads!
and cried "The end is near!"
when I was about to squeeze
Thought my days were over
Terms of abuse poured down
That's why it's my turn now
put the key in the keyhole
the door opened from the inside
and Elvis stood there with a bucket
with the filter-cigarette
I feel like Mr. Charming himself
or may be filled with fear
I've just opened the second
My stomach caused the drinking
felt this intense unaccountably
so when the beast killed the
Huge in some kind of funny way
My thoughts of the future
is more at a distance now
and with the voice of Bob Marley
I'm suddenly a part of the bus
but that doesn't bother me
with his hands filled with
and that little skull crammed
with all kinds of evil thoughts
but I've got plenty of time
The day he begins in the first grade
and discovered that I had
without the real big adventures
Maybe I'll get the Alzheimer
or maybe it's already there
Maybe I'm mentally retarded
hanging from my flabby chin
I'll spit in peoples faces?
things I shouldn't call them
or have known all my life!?
just to avoid any trouble
Can't get rid of this fear
that's why I sleep so little
and try not to do anything
on the other side of the road
Where the weed is so high
that it hides all them stinking flowers
that's growing in the ditch
attracting different kinds
Where the birch stands bent
on the other side of the road
It's the summer I reached ten
Cause that was the summer
But the summer i reached twelve
but I've forgotten the most
Can imagine it was that summer
my father cut his finger.
Can also imagine that he was
My father always squealed
when something went wrong
My mother was always on the spot
with bandages and some well
It was always she who ordered
I guess it happened a lot
Had my head full of stones
at the bottom of my belly
when the message reached me
The message gave me quite a turn
"Go to hell, you porn-pig!"
words I found meaningless
because any kind of enemies
Couldn't recognize the number
which my father had bought
had problems leading the glass
and therefore wanted to hurt me
couldn't give them another chance
Had to leave the beer half empty
the anxiety were hanging over me
It made me think of people like
that for years had to live
When the train leaved the station
as I stood bent over the sink
and the fact that I was broke
didn't make my day any better
maybe you'll learn someday
though I seriously doubt it!"
Her sarcasm made me see red
"And where the hell is the bread
She was really on the move now
and seemed to have a great time
The second cough was worse
"I just give a damn about the bread
and the fuckin' milk as well!"
"Why don't you get the hell
before you strike roots in here!?"
It sounds like a birds nest
"At least, you can get outside
The anger raised inside me
and I had a very obscene answer
Outside stood our neighbor
"Howdy pal, is your sister home?"
Was about to send him away
"Guess she's inside somewhere,
but I'm sure she don't want any fish
That horny little bastard
just too bad for him that my sister
don't like any kind of fish.
I had never been his pal!
The gentle breeze and the
"The worst is still to come"
Almost a plain and simple
These days usually starts
and the macaroni-ladies are
As soon as the party is over
and just small wads of dust
To be that flat in the face
has to be pretty unpractical
If you wanna fly these days
you have to be aerodynamic
therefore you've got to have a
What's her benefit anyway
apart from eating rodents?
Usually she's sitting in a spruce
or she's sitting on the chimney
with those horrible sounds
Can't give her a bullet neither
cause I don't have any weapons
sometimes I throw stones at her
haven't found all of them yet
Seems like I have to live with this
but maybe she'll disappear
it's getting a little bit better now
seems to have strike roots
One hell of a morning to wake up
got a really bad mood before I get out of bed
The spot on my Levis 501 doesn't make
You can't even get clean clothes these days
All the other Levis 501 ain't usable
cause much of the color has disappeared
I grab my most expensive pant
This is gonna make them feel bad
There's a taste of pickled herring
my hair is disheveled and stiff
almost impossible to get it right
which I'm seriously proud of
has got a really bad look
After five minutes with the electric
and look forward to a good
The disappointment is huge
as I stand in the kitchen
and realize that there's nothing there
"Where the hell is my coffee?!"
I'm real angry at this time
"Hasn't both of you been up so long
that you could get the coffee ready
I can hear something hit the floor
as I slam the door behind me
What if I had hit the floor
Maybe then they would realize
how badly they have been treating me
with very serious damage!?
Convinced about their feeling of guilt
I put Metallica in the cd-player
so I'm sure it will disturb them
and take place in the sofa
Now I'm just waiting for my mom
to show up with fresh waffles
a good warm cup of coffee
and a hell of a lot excuses
"Sad but true" reverberate
